Stupid Things on the Internet This Week: Bubble Boy Nearly Dies Trying to Run on Water for World Peace

 

What’s trending on Sunday morning when I’m half hung-over? This idiot:

Ultra-marathoner Reza Baluchi has constructed an inflatable human hamster wheel and attempted to “run” it from Florida to Bermuda over the weekend. Unsurprisingly, he got a little tired out in the ocean and had to be rescued by the Coast Guard. According to CNN, it took nothing less than an airplane, a helicopter, and a boat to save the human hamster from drowning 70 miles off shore from St. Augustine.

Pretty dumb. But you know what makes this even dumber? This guy is “running for world peace.” Um, how is your hamster wheel gonna create world peace, bro? Are you gonna wheel on over to ISIS and ask them nicely to stop beheading journalists?

“Hey buddy, drop the sword for a sec – there’s an ultra-marathoner here to talk to us!”

“Stop herding our own neighbors into desolate mountain ranges to die of thirst? We never thought of that, thanks! Can I try your wheel?”

IDK…

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