Life as a (Non-Easter) Bunny

By Nutmeg Savo, with a little help from the Headbanging Hostess
Originally posted April 1, 2010

This is the time of year I hate. My human mom runs around after me asking me to shit jelly beans and lay Cadbury Crème Eggs, as if I had the ability. I mean, she really should know better. She bought me from a breeder, she knows I’m not the Easter bunny, I never leave the house! How could I possibly bring candy to all the world’s children without leaving the comfort of my condo?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got it pretty good here. I’m well fed, I have the run of the house. The human world pretty much revolves around me. The garden is grown around my tastes, the floor is strewn with bunny shaped friends and every banana in the house has my name on it. True, I have to put up with her constant displays of affection. But I’ve learned to just sit still and endure her kisses and cuddles. Eventually she’ll stop and give me another slice of banana. See, I told you I had it good.

We bunnies make pretty good pets, if I do say so myself. We’ve got personalities like dogs but we’re independent like cats. Oh yeah, I’m litter box trained! I haven’t been in my cage in years. I live under the dining room table, sometimes behind the couch. Of course when it’s time for me to lie down I like to do it in the absolute center of the house so everyone has to step over me. I don’t make any noise, so I have to remind them I’m here somehow.

When people come to visit they “ooh” and “aah” over me like I’m the Hope Diamond. But really I’m just an angora rabbit, one of the oldest breeds. Ever hear of an angora sweater? That’s me. The good news is angora bunnies don’t have to lose their lives in order to provide people with warmth. Angora can be plucked or sheared and it’ll grow back without causing the bunny any discomfort.

The bad news, if there really is any bad news about bunnies, is that we’re not really meant to be pets for little kids. Lots of people give their little ones bunnies for Easter and, while their hearts might be in the right place, we’re really too fragile for inexperienced pet owners. We’re not supposed to be picked up by our ears or by the scruff of our necks. And even if we’re properly picked up we like to kick. If a kid should accidentally drop us we could really be hurt. It’s best to leave bunny ownership to adults.

If you want a bunny contact a reputable breeder. Better yet, contact your local rabbit rescue. There are lots of bunnies in need of a good home. Trust me, you’ll love us – even if we don’t shit jelly beans.

Rabbit Rescue Links:

Editor’s Note: Sadly, Nutmeg passed away last month.  He was a cherished member of the Headbanging-Savo family, and you can see his memorial video below.  :/



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